Together at Last
by i hate jacob black
Summary: Sirius is in love with Remus. Remus is in love with Sirius. They just don't know until it's too late. RLSB slash. It's also sad.....


WARNING: This is sad. And there's slash.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Sirius Black stayed up the entire night. Again. Yet, he never seemed to mind. He did not care that he had dark shadows under his eyes. He did not care that he was looking sick and anorexic from not eating more than what is necessary to live. He did not care about a lot of things. But he did care, that Remus Lupin did not love him back.

Not that he had asked him or anything. There was no need to. He was a friend. Nothing less, nothing more.

Much to Sirius's misfortune, Remus Lupin did not know about Sirius's inclination to him. Otherwise, Remus would have made a move a long time ago. Remus did not think that Sirius liked him. However, Remus was much better at masking his emotions and not letting a single tear escape. If he had confided in Sirius, than maybe they both could be happy.

But then there would be no plot line. And there would not be anything depressing. Therefore, Sirius and Remus have to both be miserable and oblivious.

* * *

Sirius was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The room was quiet, except for slow breathing and an occasional snort from the dirrection of Peter's bed.

_I'm alone, _Sirius thought. A tear trailed slowly down his cheek as he heard Remus's steady breaths. There was a faint light shining from the moon into the quiet room. The soft light made the tears that Sirius cried glisten. Sirius was beyond depression. His family hated him, and dissaproved of the path he chose. Remus does not love him. _There's no reason to live. Nothing to live for. _

Sirius pondered over the idea. He did not want to live anymore. He just wanted to end everything. To end his pain. To end him longing over things he can not have. To end his life.

The breathing of everyone in the room remained slow and steady. Sirius got up from the bed and searched in the dim light. He found a quill, ink, and some parchment. Sirius dipped the quill cautiously in the ink, brought it back up, and started writing on the parchment. First, his writing was cautious and slow. Then, it sped up, with more certainty. He finished off the paper, and put his quill and ink away. The parchment he kept.

Sirius got back in bed, and slept for the first night in many. Morning came. Even if it was not wanted. Even if this day was dreaded. Even if this day was marked as Sirius's last day on Earth, his last day still came.

Sirius woke up earlier than everyone else. He put the parchment he wrote last night on Remus's bed. Right next to his pillow so he would see it.

Sirius got up. He walked a fraction of his remaining footsteps out the door of the dormitory. The last staircase he will ever walk down. He walked the distance from the bottom of the staircase to the portrait hole. The last time he would be in the common room. He walked out the portrait hole and to the grand staircases, walking up them. Walking up them for the last time. He would no longer run up them with his friends, or step on a trick step, or get lost on them. It was all over. Never again would he do many things. He walked up the winding staircase to the astronomy tower. The same tower he would go to, to look at the moon or the stars. _Never again. _

A tear fell. He wanted this. But he would still be sad. Some things he wished he had gotten to do one more time. Or that he had said a final goodbye. But there is no going back now.

He stepped to the edge. He looked down at the grounds he had roamed in so many times with his friends. _Never again. _He did not realize it, but he was leaning forwards. He was getting closer and closer to falling off. He did not care.

Sirius Black died that day. But he had made his mind up a long time ago.

* * *

Remus woke up in the morning. He was depressed. He felt as if something was missing. That half of him was gone. But he did not know what the other half was. He got up and noticed a piece of parchment lying next to his pillow. It was folded delicately in half, and it said _Remus _on it in shaky handwriting.

It was handwriting he would recognize anywhere. The person who he loved more than anyone or anything else's handwriting. The person who he would follow anywhere's handwriting. It was Sirius's.

Remus carefully opened the paper. He started reading.

_Dear Remus,_

_You have always been there for me, whether you have realized it or not. You have always forgiven me, whether I deserve it or not. So, I'm asking you to please forgive me one last time. I hope you understand why I had to do what I did. I also hope you can move on with your life without thinking about this. Remus, I've been acting really weird. I wouldn't answer any questions, but now it's time. It's time to answer everything you and anyone else have ever asked me. The truth is, I'm in love with you. That means I like you. I like-like you. More than I should. More than is right. And yet, I can't and won't change anything. I know you don't love me back, that you're straight, and that I would probably ruin everything our friendship meant by saying this. That's why I'm saying it when it can no longer have any effect on me. I'm sorry Remus. I'm really, really sorry. But I had to go. I couldn't live anymore with unrequited love hurting me day after day like a fresh wound. I can't live with my family not excepting me, or being just some person who lives in the same house as them. I hate them, Remus. And I'm scared. I'm turning into them more and more every day. Next, I'll be discriminating against muggle-borns or half-breeds. I can't live with myself if I hurt you. There's no more reason to live, so I'm ending my life before it can get worse. Nothing good will come, only misery, misfortune, and more pain. I hope you can understand. I hope you can live your life like I couldn't. And I hope you can forgive me for this, for not telling you, and for falling in love with you. It was never something I intended. It just happened. And I don't regret any of it._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

Remus stared at the paper, not believing it. It was not possible. It could not be possible. Sirius would not commit suicide. Sirius could not have loved him. It is impossible. Things like that just did not happen.

Remus looked at the paper and realized it was stained with fresh tears. _My tears. _Another tear trailed down his cheek and landed on the paper. The flow of tears would not stop as he processed the words that were written. _But maybe he has not done it yet! _Remus could not help but hope. He loved Sirius, and if Sirius had died, what's stopping Remus from dying also. Sirius was the only thing that kept him alive.

Remus took his quill and wrote on the paper after the final word. He wrote: _I love you too, Sirius. I always have._

A piercing scream filled the air. It came from the open window looking out on the grounds. A cluster of students were staring transfixed at something underneath the astronomy tower. Remus felt all his hope vanish in the space of a few seconds.

He rushed out of the dormitory, clutching onto the final farewell Sirius wrote as though it was the only thing keeping him alive.

He pushed. He shoved. He did not care. All that mattered to him, lay on the ground.

One of Sirius's legs stuck out at an odd angle. There was a trickle of blood running down his chin from landing face first. His chest was motionless. It was as if he was not breathing. It was as if he was not alive.

Remus stumbled closer to his fallen friend and love of his life. He carefully placed a hand to his chest to feel his heart. The normal thumping was gone. Nothing. He was dead. Gone. Gone forever.

Tears started falling again, and it soon turned into a never ending flow. Remus was kneeling on the ground besides Sirius. Not paying attention to anything. Nothing mattered. Nothing ever will anymore.

Remus got up. He was numb. He could not feel anything. He could not think anything other than Sirius was dead, and that he did not want to live anymore either.

Remus passed people in the corridors. He passed James, Lily, and Peter asking what was wrong. He did not answer. He just continued to the bathrooms.

He locked the door and started the water for a bathtub. _The note. _Remus placed the note on the ground, next to the bathtub. He kept all of his clothes on, and he got in. He dunked his head underwater.

He was oblivious. He did not care about the consequences. He did not care about anything anymore. He too, would be gone from Earth. He too, did not want to live.

* * *

James was pounding on the door to the bathroom. He had seen Sirius's body, and had to find Remus. He continued pounding. Lily and Peter were right next to him. Lily had tears in her eyes and Peter just looked shocked.

James shouted, "Remus! If you don't let me in right now, I'm blasting the door open!"

James did not get an answer. He pulled out his wand and unlocked the door.

James gasped, still shocked that even one of his friends had died. Now another.

Remus was lying face down in a bathtub with all his clothes on. He was floating, and he was not moving.

"Remus!" James shouted. Lily burst out crying. James ran to Remus and turned him over. His heart was still. His breathing silent.

Two were lost that day.

James noticed a piece of paper lying on the ground. He picked it up and began reading it out loud. James could not keep a straight face, and a couple tears escaped from him also.

Lily, composed herself. She put a hand on James's shoulder, and said, "They're together at last."

**AN: **It's so sad! sob Sorry... I can't believe I had to make them die!!! Ok, I'm done. I hope...


End file.
